Read all of my musings of the world, unedited.
Okay, I’ve been debating on writing this post for a few weeks now. Why? Because it involves a pretty major admission from me...
I, Briana Marie Trifiro, am completely and totally obsessed with the 50 Shades of Grey trilogy.
(Shocked gasps of disgust).
Yeah yeah I know. Not necessarily a masterful work of literature. But stay with me here.
About a month ago, one day after it was released in theaters, my best friends and I went to go see the third and final 50 shades movie.
Guys, it was good (don’t send me hate mail or your judgement, thanks in advance).
Not only was it good... it made me cry.
And I’m not talking like getting a little misty. Nope, I full on SOBBED during the ending Love-Me-Like-You-Do montage.
After a few eye rolls from Allie, we all went our separate ways - and I embarked on my hour and a half drive home.
About twenty minutes away from my house, I started BALLING in my car. Whatever emotions had hit me at the theater were suddenly washing over me again.
A few days later, Allie (disdainfully) asked me why I would cry in the middle of a movie like 50 shades (I’m assuming most people do not cry, but hey, whatever you’re into I guess).
And then it hit me. This movie really was the end of something. And I don’t mean just the end of a movie franchise.
In a way, this last movie felt like the end of a chapter of my life.
Let me explain:
Sophomore year, I lived across the hall from my boyfriend (what a bad choice, more on that later). The night the first 50 Shades of Grey movie came out (around Valentines Day), i was hanging out with my boyfriend in his room - until my suitemates came running in, demanding I get ready QUICKLY because they just bought us all tickets to see the brand new 50 shades.
I rolled my eyes. I did not want to go. I was happy staying home with my boyfriend. I had never seen or heard of the 50 Shades franchise and I couldn’t believe my friends actually wanted to go. But hey, what are friends for. So I went.
And I hated it.
The whole movie, I scoffed and laughed and rolled my eyes. HOW COULD PEOPLE WATCH THIS. I thought the whole thing was melodramatic and gross. I immediately went home and told my boyfriend how dumb it was and a waste of time.
But, to be honest, the soundtrack grew on me. For MONTHS, my suitemates and I played Love Me Like You Do on repeat. We know every word by heart. Whenever I hear it now, I still think of driving around Smithfield in Catherine’s RAV4 with all the windows down playing this song over and over and over. Honestly, I miss those days. Being 19 seemed SO HARD THEN. God, what I would do to get those days back. Anyways...
Junior year, I forced my boyfriend to watch it with me on Valentine’s Day. We ate Ben and Jerry’s out of the carton and made fun of the super sappy butterflies and flowers scenes in the movie and rolled our eyes, together. Our relationship was in a rocky place, so it was nice to forget about the world for a little bit.
Senior year, my housemates and I all piled in the car to see the second movie. By now I was hooked. I loved the plot line and omg Jamie Dornan is a god. But this year was different. This was the first Valentines Day where I was single. There was no boyfriend to come home to or laugh about the sappy parts with. Deep down that broke my heart a little bit.
But I was okay. I had my friends and Jamie Dornan and I was good to go. Anyways, we laughed and giggled and ended the night stuffing our faces with PF Chang’s in the Providence Place Mall. What more could you want from a Valentine’s Day?
This year was different. It felt like the end. My friends and I had been planning on seeing this movie together for months. As we all slid into our seats, our McDonalds hidden away in our purses, i had a sudden pang of sadness. There wouldn’t be anymore movie trips on Valentine’s Day to see the newest 50 shades. I couldn’t call David and tell him about the movie. It was like I was reading the last sentences of a book that I had fallen in love with somewhere over the last few years.
And that made me really freaking sad.
I know it’s a silly comparison, and if you read this far you really deserve some serious props. But the whole thing was a wake up call. I’m not in college anymore. Duh, I know that. But everything is different now.
And that sucks.
I know it’s okay, and that there will be new things to look forward to. But for right now, that totally bums me out.
This week, Love Me Like You Do came on the radio on my way home from class. This time, I didn’t cry. I turned it ALL the way up and sang my lungs out, just like we used to do when I was 19.
Until next time,