Read all of my musings of the world, unedited.
Y'all remember last week when I promised that this week I would be back on my A+ blogging game?
Yeah, I lied.
I'm sorry!! This week is crazy!!
BUT... some good news!!! Remember last week when I said I was crazy behind on my thesis and ~not graduating~ ?? False alarm (hopefully). Yesterday I submitted my final draft of my thesis proposal, and I am seriously SO PUMPED. Totally nerding out over here, but this study is so freaking cool and I really really want to hear everyone's thoughts once it goes live!
ANYWAYS -- this week is going to be a little more informal. I want to do a quick life update for you all after last week's "everything is shitty" post.
So following Friday's post about my crappy week, I had an equally crappy weekend. I was feeling defeated and lonely and unmotivated coming into this week -- I am seriously counting the minutes until graduation (plz let me graduate thx).
Monday started off like the Monday-est of Mondays. I stayed at a friend's house Sunday night to get to campus early for an emergency meeting with my adviser. I woke up Monday morning ready to kick some butt and IT WAS SNOWING. WHAT?? IT'S APRIL!
Anyways. I wake up Monday, dressed completely inappropriately for snow, and make my way to Bryant. AND OF COURSE, my GPS takes me ALL BACK ROADS THROUGH RHODE ISLAND IN A SNOW STORM. WHY WHY WHY. So of course I am LATE for an emergency meeting that I had to beg to even get scheduled in the first place.
After a series of hurried apologies, my adviser and I had a brief chat about my ~future~ in grad school. We agreed as long as I submitted my final draft by this morning, I would be on track to graduate this May (major YAY!).
So despite having a full seven days of shittiness, here was my silver lining: not all hope was lost. I had to work my ass off this week, but hey, it was totally worth it. I think that might be this week's lesson: even if you have a really awful day where you feel like you just cannot win - you always get to try again tomorrow.
A lot of people have been asking me what my plan is for after graduation (LOL). To be honest, I still have no f*cking clue (can you tell I'm exhausted by how much I am cursing in this post???). I genuinely feel like my life has been on pause since I graduated last May. I keep thinking one day I am going to wake up and realize what my life path is supposed to look like.
Spoiler alert: that does not happen. There is no road map to PGL -- I have learned this the hard way.
Anyways, here's what I have so far....
So the more I think about it, the more I realize I have seriously never liked a single job I have ever worked. Don't get me wrong, I LOVED working for Rhode Island Governor Gina Raimondo and seeing the day-to-day operations of a political communications office. And I LOVED getting to sit in the newsroom and help write the 6pm newscast every Tuesday and Thursday night for Channel 4. But I always get SO BORED. Like seriously, nothing holds my attention. I have never held a job that I do not get totally bored of within a few weeks.
About a year and a half ago, one of my professors told me I should consider getting my PhD. I literally laughed in his face. But over the last year I have seriously thought about it: literally the one thing I have consistently enjoyed all throughout my life is SCHOOL (NERD ALERT). I love learning and expanding knowledge and if you know me you know how passionate I am about media and communication.
So here's my current (tentative) life plan. I think I am going to take ONE MORE YEAR (remember when I said that last year LOL). But one more year and see if this PhD thing really is for me. I plan to study my butt off for the GREs and research different programs and work full-time at SCTV and really find my PASSION.
(SIDE NOTE: there is this super cool program at Ohio State that I am DYING to apply to. It has some of the best professors and staff in the country and from what I can tell it would be fully funded if I got accepted. But do I want to move to Ohio??? Who knows, more on this at a later date).
My parents joke that I want to be a "full-time student." And what's wrong with that? I love reading and writing and researching and deep down I really think that communication and media research has the potential to really bring some good to the world. And that's honestly all I have ever really wanted to do.
So, if you stuck with me, that was my quick life update for your Friday. Bless your soul if you made it through all the swearing and capitalized words. Maybe next week I can return to B-level blogging.
Until next time,