Read all of my musings of the world, unedited.
A lot has changed since graduation.
And I’m not talking about new haircuts, losing all the weight we all gained during Senior Week (thanks a lot Rentes cheese fries and $5 pitchers), or even the fact that we are all getting jobs and moving to new neighborhoods.
Honestly, one of the biggest changes since May 20th is evident in the friendships that we have kept.
In college, friendships were easy. Your BFFs were down the hall, or a text message away. It was nearly impossible not to bump into someone walking to class or grabbing coffee at Dunkin. The benefits of going to a small school kept us all close, and made it easy to have many friendships all over campus.
Starting on Sunday May 21st, we all were tasked with choices. Where to apply for our first jobs, where to sign our first leases, what grad programs to enroll in... all of a sudden, there was so much on all of our plates. We no longer lived in townhouses or shared walls with one another or had sorority chapter meetings every Sunday to bring us all together. For the first time in four years, we have to actually go out of our way and make time for one another.
My best friends live all over New England. My roommate is getting her Master’s degree in Connecticut, my sorority sisters are littered across Massachusetts; making the time to see each other is harder than ever. Instead of meeting up between classes or hanging out at Rentes once a week, we have to jump through hoops just to meet up for a quick lunch or a drink after work.
But somehow, it works. We make time for each other. We brave highways and long days stuck in traffic and take trains across state lines just for a chance to see one another, if even for a little while. We over extend ourselves, and our bank accounts/and our livers, to plan elaborate girls getaway trips. We spend weekends and long car rides and mental picture moments with one another, because we need each other to figure out all of those other hard decisions that have fallen into our laps since graduation. At the end of a long week, we still make time for each other. And that’s why it works.
Maybe, one day, it will stop working. One of us will meet a boy and stop coming to girls weekend getaways. One of us may get a promotion, or start a new grad program, or move across the country. And once we stop trying, the friendships will stop working.
You see, we all make choices every day: what to eat for breakfast, should I blow off my afternoon workout, can I have another brownie, etc. Choosing to be a friend is no different. And after graduation, as cliché as it sounds, you find out who your friends are after the college bubble pops.
Once you get that diploma, your whole life changes. You have to make time for people. Nothing worth having is easy, not even friendships.
In the texts we send, the sappy Instagrams we post, and the birthday cards we sign – my best friend and I always sign off the same way: thank you for choosing to be my friend after May 20th.
Make time for the people that make time for you.