Read all of my musings of the world, unedited.
Happy Friday & welcome back – this week was long, wasn’t it?
I know last week’s post was pretty lengthy, so I’ll try to be brief this week. Also, commuting back and forth to Smithfield four times in the last seven days basically fried my brain – so this week may not be as poetic or inspirational as in weeks past. But I’m glad you’re here regardless. Also, I am basically pouring my soul into next week's post - so if this week is a flop, I promise next week will be ten times better.
I’m writing this at work. (What?? But last week you told us that you quit your job??)
I know, I know. But hey, I have loans and credit card bills to take care of and a paycheck is a paycheck. For now, I’m basically helping my replacement transition comfortably into his new role and helping him with his day to day responsibilities. Also, I can only watch so many episodes of Gossip Girl a day (my crush on Chuck Bass in season 3 is getting out of hand).
Anyways, I’m writing this at work. It’s a slow Friday morning. I have a podcast playing in the background (someone please tell me why season 2 of Serial is way, way worse than season 1). And I have to admit, I’m feeling oddly nostalgic today.
To recap, I work (now part time) at my town’s cable station. I am responsible for three different channels that are broadcast into almost every home in town. The TV station is located in my old high school, which is pretty weird for me. Every day that I come into work, I walk through the hallways that I did when I was 14 years old. I pass by my old locker every day on my way to my office. I see my old teachers, and sometimes old classmates, on almost a daily basis.
It’s safe to say it’s really weird for me.
I had the same locker for four years. One of my high school boyfriends was a year older than me, and his locker was about 5 steps away from mine. In front of that locker, I had kisses, tears, heartbreaks, mental break downs, anxiety attacks, and more. It held more than just books and jackets. It held four years’ worth of moments and memories.
It’s no secret that I hated high school. I didn’t cry at my high school graduation – I was excited to leave. I was excited to become an entirely new person at Bryant and start a new life.
So, it’s easy to see that working in my high school brings back some weird and painful memories. I wasn’t into sports at all – basically a cardinal sin in my small little suburban town. I almost always felt like I didn’t fit in, like the town was too small for (what I felt like were) my big dreams.
As I have gotten older, I have been able to appreciate everything that my small town has to offer. I have been a town employee at the cable station for five whole years – a pretty big chunk of my life.
Lately, I have been trying my best to make the most of my day to day situations. So, today, I rummaged through drawers full of old t-shirts until I found what I was looking for: an old, faded blue Scituate Sailors t-shirt. At my freshman orientation, everyone in my graduating class got the same blue t-shirts. We would wear them to pep rallies, football games, and basically any event in town. Every graduating class had matching shirts, the only differentiating factor was that each class year was stamped on the back.
I haven’t worn this shirt in four years. It used to hold so many bad memories and feelings. But today, it feels familiar. It reminds me of a 14 year old, kind of nerdy, young girl who tried so hard to fit in somewhere. And it reminds me of how far I’ve come. Almost ten years later, and I am an entirely different person than I was in high school (okay, still as nerdy).
But as I sit and write this, in an office hidden away in my old high school, I can appreciate where I came from, how far I have come & where I am hopefully headed.
Maybe part of moving on is being able to make peace with your past. With your breakups, with the Friday nights you stayed in alone with your parents instead of making plans. Because once you let go of all of that pain, you make room in your life for great things to take place. I’m not sure about you guys, but I’m pretty ready for some great things in my own life.
So anyways, go Sailors; and happy Friday everyone.
Time for the fun stuff –
One of my favorite undergraduate professors has reached out to me and asked if I would be interested in guest lecturing for one of her classes on Media Literacy. I can’t tell if this is a dream come true or if I’m scared to death. I will probably be presenting a study that I did for my undergrad Honors Thesis. Those of you who know me know how much I loved/hated this study. Briefly, I did a content analysis of popular television shows and movies that depicted fraternities and sororities in the media. Again, if you know me, you know how obsessed I am with this project. You can check out my final thesis presentation from this spring here.
This week have been binging (binge-listening, I don’t know) Serial Season 2. If you know me, you know I’m a sucker for true crime dramas/documentaries/and now podcasts. Like I said earlier, I don’t totally love Season 2 of the series, but Season 1 is addictive (it’s the only thing that can keep me on the elliptical for an hour). If you find yourself needing something to listen to to pass your day – whether you’re driving every day to Rhode Island like me, or just in your cubicle – you should totally check out Serial. It has everything – drama, politics, suspense, murder mystery, etc. Check it out here.
That’s a wrap on week three! This week has been such a whirlwind with commuting and trying to buy a new car to replace my old one and taking THREE grad courses and working … my brain is tired. Thanks for putting up with this week’s ramblings. Hopefully it was short(er) and also, maybe, somewhat interesting.
Last week’s post got such great feedback – you can check it out here. If you’re new to this space and are super confused – check out my introduction post here.
I am so, so excited about next week’s post. I have been planning and writing and re-writing the piece for about two weeks now; I absolutely cannot wait to share it with you.