Read all of my musings of the world, unedited.
**STOP: before you read on, be warned that this week's post includes sensitive topics. The thoughts I post here are not open to debate, as they reflect my own experiences and beliefs -- okay, carry on!**
When I first saw a #MeToo post pop up on my Facebook feed this week, I was curious. And as I started reading all the posts and explanations and articles, I was disgusted. I couldn't believe that for years, I had known so many women who had experienced such awful, scary moments. Moments that I, too, had shared. Moments that, for years, I have been silent about - in fear of ruining my reputation, of the reputation of my attackers (I don't even like using that word, but that's a conversation for another post). I wanted to stand up and scream "me too" along with them.
And like so many of my friends, I didn't feel like I could. I typed those two little words, and deleted them, over and over again.
I posted statuses, and deleted them hours later. But inside, I was still screaming those words.
I have typed this post over and over in my head. I have written different versions. Graphic versions that detail my own experience with rape and sexual violence. And I deleted those too.
I've never openly discussed my experience with sexual assault with anyone besides my ex-boyfriend. But even then, I downplayed the experience, I took the blame. The situations became my fault, products of my own behavior - when in reality, they weren't my fault at all.
I've gone back and forth over whether or not I want to share my experiences with you all. Maybe if this blog was anonymous, I would. But many of you know me on an intimate basis, and you would know these men, so for now, these experiences will stay just mine.
Both times I encountered experiences of sexual assault, I was terrified - and I didn't know where to turn. I didn't report the experiences, I didn't tell my friends. I laughed it off as a "mistake."
But today, I want to stand with anyone who has posted a status or tweet or blog post and say, me too. That happened to me, too.
What really drives me crazy (and not to get overly political) is that people like Betsy DeVos and many others in the Trump administration want to make it even more difficult for victims report sexual assault. They worry about the ramifications for the Brock Turners of the world, and don't want to ruin their chances of having a future.
Too often, these stories fall on deaf ears - we are numb to stories about Brock Turner and Harvey Weinstein. Our own president was accused of sexually assaulting women. And while I know that many feel that the me too posts are infringing on people's privacy, i want to encourage every one of you still reading this (if anyone is at all), to think about all the women you know who tweeted or posted those words. And even if you didn't have the courage to post them, we stand with you too.
I hope that one day, I have a daughter. And I hope that she never has to say the words "me too" in a conversation about sexual assault. But if she does, I hope she lives in a world that won't make her feel like she can't.
Who knew that two little words could have such a monumental impact.
To read the article that inspired this post, click here.